What ‘Chak De’ is not about

The following article is an attempt to depict how the story presented in the recently released movie ‘Chak De India’ would have been presented if it was directed by some of the so called ‘commercially successful directors’ in Bollywood. Read forward only if you have already seen the movie :-)

SevenYears Earlier

Venue: Lahore Hockey Stadium

Match Final: India Vs Pakistan

Score at half time: Pakistan 5 India 0

Pakistan team is led by Akbar Mahmud (Mukesh Tiwari) who talks like a terrorist. Through out the match, he irritates the Indian team talking about 1947, 1971, Kashmir and Partition. Half time and in walks the champion-forward of the Indian Hockey team, Kabir Khan (SRK). Four goals in a row by Kabir!! 5 minutes left in the match. That’s when Akbar tries to bribe Kabir talking about religion, Kashmir etc etc. Kabir is unmoved. But Akbar does foul play, bribes the Pakistani Referee and makes him blow the whistle 5 minutes in advance before Kabir can draw the match.

Pakistan beat India 5-4

Kabir’s girlfriend Priya Mehta (played by Rani Mukherjee) is watching the whole match from the stand. She has pure love for Kabir (yes, inter-religious) but Kabir blames himself for the loss and he runs away from everything. Priya Mehta meanwhile becomes the captain of the Indian Women’s Hockey team.


Present

The Womens Hockey team badly needs a coach. Currently the coach is Priya Mehta aided by her five year old kid Chintu. (Chintu knows everything about Hockey and Coaching even though he is just 5 years old. Add asthma to his list of diseases for some anxious moments later) But she has been found incompetent enough (which her ego is not ready to accept). The plan is to make her the assistant coach and get a new coach.
Hockey Federation Chairman (played by Khulbushan Kharbanda) knows Kabir and he also knows that he is practicing Hockey in one of the rural villages in Gujarat.

Some scenes ripped from Rambo and we have a coach for the Indian National Women’s Hockey team with Kabir’s old flame Priya and Chintu as the assistant coaches. Priya still looks as ravishing as ever but Kabir is not much interested. He just wants his team to win the World Cup. Meanwhile Kabir and Chintu become friends.


Team Selection

There are about 80 girls in the team camp from which 16 needs to be picked. In the self intro, who ever introduces themselves as from a state are directly disqualified after a speech on India and the unity in diversity in India. (Add: Gandhiji would be ashamed to see so many state names being uttered)

Now we have a team of 16. The main player is Pinky Khanna (Kareena Kapoor) who has this amazing talent to carry the ball directly from her goal post to the opponents goal post single handedly. And seeing Kabir, she is already in love with him. Chintu and Pinky are also good friends by now.

But Pinky has some obvious flaws in her game. Kabir helps her to correct them and soon she is the captain of the team. Priya is jealous now as he spends a lot of time with Pinky who is actually like a sister to Kabir.

(It should not be forgotten that most of the players in the team are extras or girls from Shiamak Dhaavar’s dance troup). There are hardly one or two known faces like Guddi Maruti (Goal Keeper) and one televison actress who plays the lead role in the TV series Kusumm. Lets call her Kusumm here too.

As we reach close to the interval, the identity of Chintu father pops up as a mystery figure. Kabir is suddenly interested in the pretty Priya and wants to know who the father is.

Intermission

It appears that Chintu is an adopted kid. Once Priya was traveling in a train and there was an accident. Chintu lost his parents in the accident and she took him as her own. This was five years ago. Everything is clear now and the lovers are back in track.

Pinky sees the couple in song and suddenly she is jealous. She decides that she wont score any goals for India as long as Priya is the Assistant coach.

World Cup ( In Sydney)

(There can be a sub-track where Kusumm is married and her in laws are not happy about her being in the World Cup team. So they come with some henchmen to Sydney but Kabir with the help of Pinky and Chintu beat up everyone and then gives a speech on second chance, India and the various states of India)

The team is ready for the world cup and there is an all girls inspirational song here.

First match (with no inspiration speech from Kabir)

India Vs Australia

Since Pinky had taken a vow that she is not going to score as long as Priya is around, India doesn’t stand any chance to score goals.

Half time score Aus 5 – Ind 0

During the break, Kabir tells Pinky the seven year old story of Love,Sacrifice and Hockey. Pinky makes Kabir her brother and the second half starts. She of course breaks her vow. Four goals by Pinky, One by Guddi Maruti (Yes, the goal keeper) and one by Kusumm. India 6 – Aus 5

Then there is an array of matches against almost all nations except Pakistan which India win without conceding even a goal. But in the semi final match against Argentina, Pinky gets seriously hurt and she might not play the finals.

All geared up for the finals and its India Vs Pakistan (It doesn’t matter whether Pakistan actually has a Womens hockey team). Here is a twist. The coach of the Pakistani team is again Akbar Mahmud, Kabir’s old Nemesis from seven years earlier flashback sequence. He has a team now where all the girls eat, sleep and drink Kashmir and Partition.

The Final (after an inspiring speech by Kabir)

Match starts without Pinky. Soon India is behind Pakistan 0-5. Chintu gets sudden attack of Asthma seeing the team losing. Pinky is in pain. Priya is crying loud for her kid and her team. SRK gets a chance to delivers his usual-self in helping Chintu to breath. Lots of annoying close ups, tears and sad music all over the place….

Pinky decided enough is enough and she decides to get on the ground and obviously starts scoring. Since this is the final match, there is no importance for half time. India fights back and is now 4-5. That is when Akbar Mahmud finds out that Pinky is injured badly. He sends his thug (who is a girl and a player in the team) to injure her more. She hits Pinky on the wound again. But Pinky eats up the pain. WHY? For kabir!! After seven years, Kabir has a chance for revenge against Akbar and she wont stop him. She scores one more goal and extra time is also over. Soon it’s the tie breaker.

After the usual inspiring moments where Chintu starts breathing normally, Priya starts cheering the team, Pinkys widow mother sitting in a temple for her daughter etc etc etc, India Wins!!

Akbar is ashamed. He beats up a few photographers and leaves the arena while Kabir delivers a speech on India for the whole stadium to hear. After the speech, the national anthem is played and everyone in the stadium (irrespective of their nationality) stands up and salutes Kabir.

1 month later

Chintu has a father now. Yes, Kabir and Priya are married now. Pinky is waiting for a man in her life when Tushar Kapoor (Yes, the film might have been co-produced by Balaji films), who is the Men’s Hockey team captain, comes to congratulate her.


THE END


The above script is exactly what ‘Chak De’ is not but what it could have been had it fallen on wrong hands. Hence more reason to appreciate the superb effort from the Director Shimit Amin to keep it out of the hands of Bollywood Clichés at least to a very big extent.